Giles Coren In Today’s Times
I always read Giles Coren, as I find him funny and today in his piece in the Times he’s excelled himself on stockpiling. This is part of his piece on Gregg’s, which as I’m a coeliac, I find even funnier for some reason.
On a personal note — I have not eaten a Greggs pie in 15 years, and that was too recent. Everything Greggs sells is as grey, flabby and nutritionally otiose as a braised portion of George Galloway’s arse. The whole point of having a job and a few quid is so that you don’t have to eat at Greggs. It makes me sick to see politicians pretending they eat there. Greggs is survival rations for poor people and the homeless. Greggs is a major factor in working-class obesity. Twenty per cent VAT on its hot pies is not enough. It should be taxed to death for the sake of the NHS, which ploughs £5 billion a year into obesity-related illness.
I accept that as long as Greggs thrives, ignorant fat people will eat there three times a day, but it is cruel to put them in the spotlight as Labour has done. Some destitute people live on dog food, but do you want to see the Labour front bench kneeling over a bowl marked “Fido”, chowing on Pedigree Chum? Because they’d do it, you know. They’d do it like a shot.
I suppose it’s just the thought of eating a pie, that makes me want to get ready for the reaction my body would take.
If you haven’t bought your Saturday paper, it looks like Giles piece is well worth the cover price.