The Anonymous Widower

Feelings at a Wedding

This was the first wedding I’d been to since my wife died. Or perhaps should I say that it was the first wedding between young people, as I’d been to another involving one of my ex-business partners, who like me had been widowed.  That was different, as it showed me a lot of hope for the future.  It was also a nice touch, that the groom was having the same best man fifty years later.

But this one was a full wedding, with both a civil and a church ceremony.  They do it that way in Holland.

As to the wedding itself, everything went well and except for a few small glitches, it seemed to go smoothly.  But then what wedding goes absolutely perfectly.  If they did Robert Altman’s film wouldn’t be so funny!

But it was the details that brought me to tears.  Just words, but many times in the past at a wedding, my wife and I would smile at each other and repeat our vows and perhaps sometimes joke at some inappropriateness or funny memory.  Not that I can seem to remember much of our marriage at all.  Perhaps having only a couple of photos or videos doesn’t help.  I’ve still got her wedding dress though and perhaps one day, it’ll fit a granddaughter.

Those memories made me sad and I was pleased that I’d hidden away at the back of the church.

October 11, 2009 - Posted by | World | , ,


  1. Thanks for your thoughts so well expressed. I’ve been a bit hesitant to attend an upcoming wedding, my first since losing my wife 2 years ago.

    You’ve inspired me. Thanks again.

    Comment by Sven | October 12, 2009 | Reply

  2. Go! Be prepared to reveal your true emotions to yourself. And probably take a few tissues!

    Comment by AnonW | October 12, 2009 | Reply

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