More Than One Wife
There has been a discussion on polygamy this morning on BBC Radio 5, after reports that it is increasing amongst Muslims in the UK.
As someone, who was with my late wife for over forty years and married for all but about two years, and know how hard work it is at times to sustain and keep reinventing a relationship to make it an undoubted success, anybody who wants more than one wife, is either insane or so weak that they can’t be bothered to make one marriage work.
As a taxpayer, who pays for all the mess, when it goes wrong?
I’m not saying polygamy and polyandry should be banned, but those that practice it, should pay directly for the consequences when it goes wrong.
I also think too, that the marrying of first cousins should be looked at. Two of my mother’s brothers married first cousins and although both marriages were successful and lasted until one partner died, my mother didn’t think it was a good idea.
My uncles didn’t have problems, but a doctor has told me, that in certain Muslim families it has happened so often, there are severe genetic problems.
On a practical side, surely finding a partner is a lot about the joy of the search. Marrying a cousin is just a cop-out that doesn’t challenge or stretch either partner.
I always remember a family in the 1950s, where two boys effectively grew up with the girl of a similar age next door. It was always expected that she might settle down with one of the brothers. In the end, she didn’t, as she felt it would be like marrying her brother.
The Anonymous Widower 
Yes, am aware this happens often.
What amazes me….any guy would tolerate…two or more mothers in law…..
I cant imagine…(only in the worst of nightmares….) TWO of my ex-(and late) mothers in law….
World might not always be a happy place….but two of the dragons….not done owt to deserve two or more of them…
Thats one good reason for remaining single….
Comment by Janet | September 26, 2011 |
The Muslim concept of marriage is very very different from ours. Men and women do not choose their own marriage partner, and very often have not them before the wedding. The parents choose for them, mothers tending to have the most say, and they often select from the community they were part of before they came to UK. I have Christian friends who converted from Islam in their late teens or early twenties, whilst single, who havent the first clue about dating, dont really recognise or understand the concept of chemistry and attraction.
Plus in Muslim culture it is fairly normal that women mix with women, spend their time with the women in the family, and the men spend theirs with the men. A married couple actually spend a lot less waking time together than a typical western couple.
Cousin marriages arent good though.
Comment by liz | September 26, 2011 |
I’m curious – why is marrying a cousin a cop-out? And when you speak to making one marriage work being a sign of insanity or weakness, by what standards do you base this upon? Are you speaking about the Christian concepts of monogamy or something else?
Comment by kdaddy23 | September 28, 2011 |
II’m not working from a Christian point of view. I have no religion, but I do follow the common concepts of good behaviour common to most of the world’s religions and humanity. On the subject, of marrying cousins it is not a good idea from a scientific correctness point of view as it doesn’t widen the gene pool. I’ve bred a lot of racehorses and you can see how bad faults are passed on from generation to generation because of incorrect selection of stallions for mares.
Comment by AnonW | September 28, 2011 |