Stuart Hall
There have been some wonderful masters of the English language, who have not trod the boards or written great books, but have entertained us doing sports reports on the radio.
I remember virtually a whole lifetime listening to those great broadcasters, John Arlott, EW Swanton, Brian Johnston, Henry Blofeld and others on the BBC’s Test Match Special. Sadly, for whatever reason the use of the more eccentric commentators seems to be on the wane.
I listen to and watch a lot of football on both radio and television and none of the live commentators have either the irreverence or command of the language of say an Arlott or a Johnston. But when it comes to match summaries, there are one or two, who uphold the tradition.
Years ago, Geoffrey Green would enchant everybody with his reports on Sports Report on the BBC every Saturday. He would always do an absolutely wonderful two minutes on the match he had watched. This is the conclusion in this entry in Wikipedia.
It is safe to say that like the FA Cup, Geoffrey Green set the bonfire of football writing alight with his rhapsodic flow of words that were never used before to describe the simple yet beautiful game of football. His career paralleled the rise of football from a restricted and disjointed following in most countries until the arrival of the World Cup and European Cup, to being firmly entrenched as the king of games with such a popularity to rival even the Olympics. English football and its unique history will always remain secure in the knowledge that Geoffrey Green has cached the folklore of its incipient era.
He probably had more effect on my newspaper reading habits, as I still buy The Times, which I first bought to read his football reports, such was their prose. I can remember reading his report of the League Cup Final where Swindon beat Arsenal in the League Cup Final. It’s one of his many classics.
Today we have no Geoffrey Greens on the radio, but we do have Stuart Hall reporting from the School of Science (Everton) and the Theatre of Base Comedy (Manchester City) amongst others. His use of language is to say the least different!
What prompted this entry, is that on Christmas Day, the much-loved Hall is eighty. He was interviewed on BBC Radio 5 this week and gave us all this memorable quote.
Life is a long joke. You don’t get the punchline until you’re six feet under.
We need more Halls, Greens, Arlotts, Johnstons and Blofelds, but I doubt we’ll see their ilk in the future.
Thanks and No Thanks Mr. Hughes
It seems that Moneybags Manchester City are doing their best to alienate everybody.
To someone who has watched football for many years, the problem at City is the team. Or the fact that they aren’t one! It’s probably impossible to get the City’s bunch of mercenaries to work as one anyway.
Mancini will need time to clear out the non-triers, buy a load more players and then get his team. But will he get the time needed?
Fighting Talk
This program on BBC Radio 5, is sometimes the highlight of Saturday. Especially, this Saturday, when I was hoping to go to see Ipswich at Scunthorpe and then have supper with an old friend. But the match has been called off and I don’t know what is going to happen about supper.
So I’m listening to Fighting Talk. They sometimes bring up subjects that really get you going.
The first is the game of Bum Hoopla. Apparently, someone went to a lucky dip Christmas Party, where a Bum Hoopla set was one of the prizes. Unfortunately, it was won by one of the women in the office…
They also brought up the subject of double duvets in football colours. One of my sons had a Liverpool duvet as a kid, but now he has seen sense and supports Ipswich. I wouldn’t have one on my bed, even if you could get one, but just imagine bringing a new lady to your bedroom and seeing a full size duvet cover in say Manchester United. For most women that would be a real turn-off.
I did find one in Arsenal colours. Yuck!
What Elans are for!
Although the Elan limped home from Holland on Sunday, it is now fit and very well. Should it be he, she or it? Incidentally, the refitting of the gear-box cable, replacement of two instrument panel lights, a quick check on all wearable parts and a very good valet cost just £84. Perhaps a very good reason to buy an old Lotus Elan.
Last night, I wanted to go to London to do some shopping and have supper with my middle son. My youngest son, wanted a car, so he needed the Jaguar, so despite the forecast of rain, I took the Elan and parked it in Blackhorse Road for the Underground. As an aside here, if they want to encourage people to use public transport, why do they still charge £3.50 to use the car-park at the station at all times of the day? That applies even if you park at five in the afternoon, when the car-park is half-empty.
I was raining hard, but the M11 wasn’t that busy, so I did push it a bit. But there wasn’t really any standing water, so the journey was safe. But does every car handle as nimbly and well in the rain? Visibility is very good and the wipers create a clear screen, although perhaps not quite as clear on the Jaguar. But then the car is a twenty-year-old design! An hour after leaving home and I was in the car park at Blackhorse Road.
The return journey was clear and without incident. I was also listening to the football on the radio in the car. Not the original, I should say, that wasn’t the best because of the plastic body, but a new SONY, that seems to work well in all conditions. I can even get BBC Radio 5 on the other side of the North Sea in Holland.
I may have had my problems in the last year, but if I want to feel really alive and get a lift, I just get in the Elan and drive.
That’s Elans they are for!
Beckham to the Rescue
The English World Cup Bid is in trouble. Just too many egos and too many faceless bureaucrats.
So today, David Beckham has been pressing flesh and smoothing up to those that make the decisions in FIFA.
He’s a star.
Ipswich Win in Cardiff
Phew! Two late goals, but they did it, by two to one.
Apparently, we had a bit of luck. About time to!
Delia Goes up in My Estimation
As an Ipswich supporter, I’m not a fan of Delia Smith, because of her Norwich connections.
But she did go up in my estimation on Thursday, when she was promoting her new book and talking about football in League One on Radio 5 Live. She made the statement that she’d rather go to Hartlepool than Chelsea to support Norwich. She also said she had nothing against the fans of Chelsea, but that she had to wait for an hour before she could leave because of the security surrounding Abramovich and his entourage.
If I was the Chairman of a football club and they had treated me like that, then I wouldn’t go.
Roy Keane on Ireland-France
Roy Keane was very blunt about Ireland on the BBC yesterday. There’s a video on the link, but here’s some of what he said.
France were there for the taking and Ireland didn’t do it. Same old story.
If I’d been there in the dressing room after the game, I wouldn’t be talking about the handball. I’d focus on why the defenders didn’t clear it. They should’ve cleared it.
I’d be more annoyed with my defenders and my goalkeeper than Thierry Henry. How can you let the ball bounce in your six-yard box? How can you let Thierry Henry get goal-side of you? If the ball goes into the six-yard box, where the hell is my goalkeeper?
He has a point, but there is one point that no-one has made in the media.
I play real tennis a lot and like anybody who plays these sort of games, you play to where the ball lands. So if you know if an opponent’s serve is going out, you never run for it. It’s the same in football. Does a goalkeeper jump if the ball is going two metres over the bar? Of course not!
I have not seen a shot of the face of Shay Given, but did he think that Thierry Henry’s handball was so blatant that the referee would blow his whistle? So he didn’t go for the ball as it came back across the goal.
So perhaps the real fault of the Irish team was that they didn’t play to the whistle.
Never Trust the French
The Irish seem to have taken their defeat by the “Hand of Henri” very well.
But it just shows how even nice Frenchmen can be sneaky!
Egypt v Algeria
This seems to be one of those football matches with more aggravation than a river full of crocodiles.
You can watch it on Eurosport at 17:30 in the UK. They are three hours ahead of us.
