House of Parliament?
This short and sweet spam came twice.
Hello this is Dr Roger Berry from the British house of parliament, how are you doing today? this email is to remind you of your CONTRACT PAYMENT SUM/ INHERITANCE FUNDS of $5.2 million US dollars, your money is now available for payment. Your attention is needed urgently get back to me immediately.
Dr Roger Berry
Note that it came from the British House of Parliament. Did he mean Commons or Lords, as there is no House of Parliament, but Houses of Parliament? Dr. Roger ought to learn to type and punctuate as well.
I needed a good laugh and this crook made me chuckle.
A New Bank
Years ago, I worked as a consultant for a major bank writing a software system to calculate the cost of the various operations of the bank. What was interesting, is that a significant part of the cost of transactions such as clearing cheques, standing orders, direct debits etc., was the cost of the buildings and premises. In fact, when a new branch opened, because of the premises cost, it was a long time before that branch’s costs were down to the average level.
So the suggestion of one of the callers on Radio 5, that banks open branches in areas that are poorly served, although admirable will never happen. Or only after intense pressure and inducements.
But!
We live in a technological age, with nearly everyone having a mobile phone. Also about 50% of the population bank on-line and about 70% or more of the population have access to the Internet.
So any new bank must maximise this technology to provide a service to everyone.
Banks too, need to introduce more personal service and if customers can’t get to see the bank manager, then the managers should go to the customer. How many people have ever had a visit from a bank manager? I rarely have and I’ve dealt in seven figures sums with banks for many years.
Returning to my costings of a major bank. Small sub branches were an interesting way of providing service in areas away from the main branch. They have now been replaced by cash machines, but why do we not see such branches in places like supermarkets, hospitals and garages?
Whatever happens, a new bank must innovate and draw on the experience of the past; good and bad.
Best of Salineville Awards
I received this from the US. As with most things like this, I recognise they are spam and completely worthless.
In recognition of your achievement, a 2009 Best of Salineville Award has been designed for display at your place of business. You may arrange to have your award sent directly to James Miller by following the simple steps on the 2009 Best of Salineville Award order form.
Each year, the US Commerce Association (USCA) identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and community.
Also, a copy of the press release publicizing the selection of James Miller has been posted on our website. The USCA hereby grants James Miller a non-exclusive, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, distribute, and display this press release in any media formats and through any media channels.
An Award Code has been assigned to your company that can be used on our website for quick access to your award information and press release.
Your Award Code is: 8A3F-WX2B
Sincerely,
Ashley Carter
Selection Committee Chair
US Commerce Association
So I searched for Ashley Carter and the US Commerce Association. It is just a rather dubious vanity award and as I thought completely worthless.
Communicate with these people at your peril.
A Loveliness of Ladybirds
This collective noun came up on BBC Breakfast this morning. It seems that it might be dubious, but after the hoards of Harlequin ladybirds this autumn, that the collective noun may stick.
But I’m not a lover of these Asian imports, which could wipe out a lot of our familiar species. Helen Roy, an expert on ladybirds said this.
“We believe that the negative impacts of the harlequin on Britain will be far-reaching and disruptive, with the potential to affect over a thousand of our native species,” she said. “It’s a big and voracious predator, it will eat lots of different insects, soft fruit and all kinds of things.”
It shows the danger of allowing alien species to be introduced into an environment. Grey squirrels being the worst example in the UK. There’s a full list here in Wikipedia.
I don’t like the name of loveliness for Harlequin ladybirds.
The Anonymous Widower 