The Anonymous Widower

The Three Smallest Books In The World

In the 1970s, when we were on holiday in Crete, a South African, who was probably Jewish told me a joke about the three smallest books in the world.

They were.

  • The Biafran cookbook.
  • The Israeli book of Arab human rights.
  • The Afrikaans book of humour and culture.

Politically incorrect they may be, but what would the three books be today?

  • The Yemeni cookbook.
  • The Middle East book of human rights.
  • Donald Trump’s book of courtesy and sense.

Technology and wealth may have progressed in the last forty years, but some things only change for the worse!

November 24, 2018 Posted by | World | , , | Leave a comment

Cancer Is No Laughing Matter, But!

I took this picture on an Overground train, with permission of the young ladies.

I have this feeling that we’re winning the fight against cancer, through top-quality research.

September 17, 2018 Posted by | Health | , | 4 Comments

Falling Off A Cruise Ship

This story on the BBC is entitled British Woman Rescued 10 Hours After Falling Off Cruise Ship In Croatia.

Happily the lady survived.

I am reminded of a old story.

A consultant and his friend, after a busy winter decided to go on a cruise in the Caribbean, where they had been told, they would be able to liven up their boring sex lives.

They were not enjoying themselves, as there wren’t any spare ladies under the are of fifty.

So one night, after having a few too many rum punches, they were at the blunt end of the ship, moaning about their lives telling very rude jokes and smoking lots of cigarettes.

One joke involved the consultant gently tapping the other on the shoulder and he let go of his drink. In trying to catch it, he slipped and started to disappear into the sea. The other tried to catch him and the outcome was that both of them fell in the sea.

Luckily, the episode had been seen by a seaman, who immediately raised the alarm., as he knew the sharks in the area, were very quick to find a free meal.

Within ten minutes or so, the consultant had been pulled unharmed from the water, but all they found of his friend was his left foot.

Back on board the ship, the consultant was summoned to see the Captain, as he needed to put a report in the log.

The Captain spoke to the consultant. “These waters are very dangerous! So how do you, as a consultant explain, why you didn’t get eaten by the sharks, like your friend?”

The consultant was uncharacteristically brief with his answer. “Professional Etiquette!”

August 19, 2018 Posted by | Transport | , | Leave a comment

President Maduro Of Venezuela

Seeing President Maduro of Venezuela standing there in his extravagant suit with a multi-coloured sash, he looked so like one of the comic creations of Sacha Baron Cohen.

Now, I’m afraid every time I hear his name mentioned I laugh!

 

August 5, 2018 Posted by | News, World | , , , | Leave a comment

Donald Trump Inspires ‘fine-tuned machine’ Memes

Donald Trump is a gift to those with a sense of humour, as this article on the BBC web site shows.

February 17, 2017 Posted by | World | , | Leave a comment

It Certainly Caught My Eye!

I am expecting a delivery this morning and when I heard a small truck pull up opposite, I had a look.

Junk And Disorderly

Junk And Disorderly

Well it gave me a laugh!

Twenty minutes later, I’d also done a deal worthy of Arthur Daley to remove some junk from my hall.

It all shows the value of having a good name for your company and using humour for advertising.

Although some might think some of the wording on the truck was a bit sexist, as they are saying they can clear your life of wives, girlfriends, mother in laws and taxmen.

August 30, 2016 Posted by | World | , | Leave a comment

Overground Humour

This article in the Standard, shows the lengths to which London Overground are going to discourage fare dodgers. A sign was put up saying.

Attention. Anyone caught travelling without a valid ticker or Oyster will be told the ending to the new Star Wars. (and also get a Penalty Fare).

It may not work, but people have found it very funny.

Many stations in London put up something funny every day. Does this happen in other cities across the world with large transport networks?

December 22, 2015 Posted by | Transport | , | Leave a comment

What’s Got Twenty-Eight Legs and An IQ Of Fourteen?

As there are fourteen of them at the moment, it’s Republican Party presidential candidates, 2016.

This is a joke that might get bigger!

December 16, 2015 Posted by | World | , , | Leave a comment

Islamic Scumbags

I watched Andrew Neil’s carefully-crafted monologue on the BBC last night, in which he referred to Islamic State as Islamic Scumbags.

It was a brave and very right thing to do and I hope there are no repercussions.

But his monologue was in the great tradition of the BBC, that started in the 1960s, with That Was The Week That Was or TW3.

It was on late and as I needed to get up early to deliver newspapers, I usually went to bed and my father would wake me and call me down to watch the program.

Perhaps the most moving program was the one they did after the assassination of President Kennedy, which contained none of the usual copious amounts of satire.

We should treat the so-called Islamic State with the contempt they deserve and strong words and biting humour are the weapons we should use!

November 20, 2015 Posted by | World | , , | Leave a comment

The Comments On Jeremy Corbyn’s Cabinet

I have found that one of the most enjoyable things at the moment is to read the comments by readers on the quality press on Jeremey Corbyn’s shadow cabinet.

This is from the Guardian.

If someone had told me 20 years ago that one day I’d be looking at a Labour front bench team including Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell and Diane Abbott I’d have laughed in their face and suggested they needed to consult a health professional.

Well I’m not laughing now

As is this.

while the briefs occupied by Luciana Berger (mental health) and Gloria De Piero (young people and voter registration) have no equivalent in David Cameron’s lineup.

How can you shadow a non existent minister?

And this from The Times.

Why has Corbyn not announced the appointment of a Shadow Minister of Magic Money Trees? Probably a lot more use than most of the other jobs allocated in the past forty eight hours.

I didn’t feel; that looking at other papers would give an unbiased view.

But he is certainly bringing out humour from the public.

September 14, 2015 Posted by | World | , , | Leave a comment