It’s Very Lonely Today
Today would have been our forty-second wedding anniversary. I shall probably see no-one all day except for the postman and the lady who delivers the papers.
I wonder what C would be thinking. She always said that she would hate to be alone and wanted to die first. This was partly because she said she hated her own company, but I suspect she’d be coping with the loneliness better than I am.
Today, there is nothing to do, as it’s not going to be the best weather and I have no driver. And there is no public transport! I simply refuse to take a taxi just to get somewhere, where there are some people!
If I did have some transport, I’d go to Colchester to see England Under-21 play Lithuania. At least there is the football and cricket on the television this evening!
But then, life gets better in the next day or so, as I’m spending a couple of days in London and then it’s off to Portsmouth to see Ipswch play!
The Anonymous Widower 
You are sad and lonely today because you are missing Celia. YOu cant literally spend the day with her, but how about getting some photos out and other things which will remind you of the happy things you did together, that may make you more sad and more lonely, but that might actually help in an odd sort of way. And remember crying is GOOD. It is not unmanly either.
Comment by Liz P | September 7, 2010 |
Thanks Liz. I did have a long chat with a friend who got married the same day in 1968 that we did. She lost her husband four years ago, so understands.
Comment by AnonW | September 7, 2010 |
Oh James, I know. Somehow we just have to get through it. I’m sorry you don’t have any other way of spending the day – it’s especially cruel to be so isolated, which you never expected. You do have lots of friends thinking of you, if that helps a little bit.
You and Celia must have married very young! We got married in 1971, having met in 1968. (An office romance….!)
Lesley x
Comment by Lesley Maciver | September 7, 2010 |
James, these (significant) days are so hard on us. My heart goes out to you today.
Perhaps you can cook yourself something nice, open a good wine and read, walk the dogs, light a candle for Celia, even sit and chat to her.
I wish you weren’t alone though.
Big hugs,
Boo xxx
Comment by Boo Mayhew | September 7, 2010 |
Thanks, Boo! Not sure what I can cook today, as I’m a bit short of food. And the nearest shop is a three mile walk.
Comment by AnonW | September 7, 2010 |
It is good that you have chatted to someone in the same position, I believe the only people who can truly understand what it feels like are people who have been there themselves.
Liz
Comment by Liz P | September 7, 2010 |