The Anonymous Widower

The Biggest Mistakes I’ve Made

These are some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made.

Not Selling Up And Returning To London Sooner

After C died in 2007, I had a phone call from an agent, who made me an offer, he thought I wouldn’t refuse for the house and stud.

Although C and I had talked about moving back to London, in a couple of years, I said that, I’d stay put.

I just wonder how my life would have turned out, if I’d accepted that offer.

Not Carrying Camera For A Large Part Of My Life

From probably the mid-1970s until perhaps the mid-1990s, I rarely had a camera with me and much of the things I did is unrecorded.  C also had the habit of throwing away negatives, so a lot of the pictures I took, have now been lost.

Not Giving Up Driving Earlier

Admittedly, I had the stroke, but I actually regret not giving up driving earlier.  I obviously couldn’t until I moved to London, but then you don’t realise what a tyranny and a chore driving is, until you abandon it. After all, with the money I save, I could afford a chauffeur-driven limousine  when I need one. Although, these days, like in Blackburn, the bus is probably sufficient.

Not Cooking Enough When C Was Alive

I rarely cooked, when C was alive, as if she was busy and couldn’t find time, we would drive down the pub or go to the local Indian restaurant.

When she died, I learned to cook again quick enough and these days I thoroughly enjoy it, with one of my friends being very complimentary about my fish pie.

Not Pushing C To Take Longer Holidays

C was a barrister and I’ve never met one yet, who wasn’t a workaholic, who was always worried that if you took time off, your colleagues in Chambers would take your best work.

I never pushed her to take more holidays, despite the fact that some we took like flying round Australia and driving around South Africa were perhaps ten days too short.

In some ways she did take more holidays in the last couple of years of her life, so did she know that something was awry with her health.

Not Having More Children

This is very much a mistake with hindsight, after the death of our youngest son and now, I would never entertain being a father again.

After we sold out of Metier and Artemis, C and myself, seriously thought about having another child, as we were only around forty. We could have afforded it and C was fit and well. These days, that is an age, where people start families.

The only fly in the ointment was my vasectomy, which could probably have been reversed. After all, the doctor, who did it in Hackney Hospital in the 1970s, assured me, that it could be reversed.

We did think hard about it, as although C said, she didn’t want a girl, I probably did.  Even if we never had a name for a girl and what she’d have been called, I know not.

We did flirt with the name Tyche or perhaps more correctly I did. Tyche is the Greek goddess of luck. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so, I’ve never seen the name used. But given the connotations, I think this is surprising.

Not Buying A Flat In Barrier Point

In about 2000 or so, C and I looked seriously at buying a buy-to-let flat in Barrier Point close to the Thames Barrier.

Barrier Point

In the end we didn’t, but it is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

I suspect, if we had, I’d have moved there soon after C died and some of my medical problems may have been caught earlier.

February 28, 2013 - Posted by AnonW | Health, World