The Anonymous Widower

Rules For Athletes At The Games

There used to be a whole set of rules for visitors to London, mainly made up by Gerard Hoffnung.  The only one I can remember is the one, that said that all brothels had a blue light outside of them.

Some of his rules and those who have parodied him are very appropriate for the Olympics.

1. Have you tried the famous echo in the reading room of the British Museum?
2. Winston Churchill’s favourite branch of Starbucks was the one in New Oxford Street, because he considered it to have the cleanest toilets
3. All buses are actually like taxis, and the driver is legally obliged to take you wherever you demand. All you have to do is climb on and declare where you wish to be taken in a loud voice.
4. It is important to shake hands with everyone in your train compartment.

If you type Gerard Hofnung into Google, lots of more inappropriate suggestions will be found.

I did find one for hurdlers and high jumpers, that it was OK to jump the barriers at Underground stations.  On the other hand, after what happened to Jean Charles de Menezes, I wouldn’t try it.

July 17, 2012 - Posted by AnonW | Sport | Humour, Olympics