Deaths, Public and Private
Every death is a tragedy for someone. Even the most noxious individual, had a mother, even if they didn’t know their father, or have any children.
Years ago, I was phoned by Haringey Council, because my great uncle had died in their care. He’d returned from Australia to find his family and after failing had ended up in an old peoples’ home in the borough. But a guy in the Legal Department of the council had taken the trouble to trace those few remaining relative after his death. He felt it was more than a pity, that he hadn’t been able to find us before my great uncle had died.
We’ve recently had a lot of coverage about Lockerbie, where unlike my great uncle, 270 died in a very public and violent way.
Over the years, I’ve met many who like myself, have lost someone very near and dear to them. But all of these, like my great uncle have been very private and the most public they have got would have been a notice in the paper. And usually only the local one.
But is the grief felt by those left behind any different?
When my wife died of an aggressive and incurable cancer of the heart, I felt totally powerless. It just gripped her body and drained the life out of her. But at least we said good-bye properly and if I can keep my dignity like she did in her last days, I will be surprised, as I don’t think I have it in me. I do want to get even, but it will be by helping those in the fight against cancer and other life-threatening diseases.
Others I know lost their partners, parents and children to accidents and heart attacks, where they didn’t have my luxury of a slow parting. They seem to take much longer to come to terms with their new circumstances. After all, they were not told to get on with their life. Or fixed up with a blind date! Many too, don’t have the financial circumstances that I have, to carry on in the same way as before.
Is the public death of a loved one any different?
In a way it is not. You still have the same grief and personal problems, although interestingly in some cases, you may well have received much more financial help and counselling.
But surely the real problem is that whereas I have been able to restart my life, the endless publicity and digging up of the issues, by newspapers and often well-meaning politicians, doesn’t help.
My heart goes out to those who can’t be left alone to suffer their grief in private with friends, family and any professionals they need, so that they can be left to rebuild the rest of their life.
An interesting aside to this is that because my wife was a barrister, we often discussed various legal issues and cases in the courts. She could not understand, why if someone was murdered, increasingly relatives seem to spend every day of the trial of the accused in Court. I agreed and if she had been murdered, I would have quietly withdrew and had nothing to do with case. She would have done the same if it had happened to me. How can you get any satisfaction from watching justice unfold, so close to home?
So to return to Lockerbie. I can’t understand the mentality of those who keep pushing themselves through all the grief again and again, by appearing on the radio and demanding more and more vengeance.
But then I think all deaths are generally a private affair, for those that are involved.
I like to think that by now, I would have moved on and built a new life that was a credit to the memory of those that I had lost.
Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi
Whatever view you think about this man, the whole affair doesn’t seem to be a very good example of justice.
I am very much a believer in the rule of law. Could I be anything otherwise, with my late wife being a barrister and one of my son’s a solicitor? I count lots of lawyers and quite a few judges amongst my friends.
So for a start, I don’t think the victims of Lockerbie and their families have got by any means a satisfactory result. I don’t think they even got one in the trial, as although al-Megrahi was found guilty, I have my doubts that he would have been judged so by a jury in an English court. According to Reevel Alderson, a respected BBC correspondent, al-Megrahi may just have been “A Convenient Scapegoat”.
One important piece of evidence was clothes that he was alleged to have bought in Malta wrapped around the bomb. This is from Alderson’s article.
There were question marks too over Tony Gauci, a Maltese shopkeeper who was the only man to identify Megrahi.
His evidence was that the Libyan, who he picked out at an identity parade, had bought the clothes at his shop.
But his police statements are inconsistent, and prosecutors failed to tell the defence that shortly before he attended an identity parade, Mr Gauci had seen a magazine article showing a picture of Megrahi, and speculating he might have been involved.
Mr Gauci now lives in Australia, and according to defence claims is believed to have been paid several million dollars by the Americans for his evidence.
We also have the views of some of the relatives, that Megrahi was not guilty.
Whatever, you think, his trial was not very satisfactory.
His appeal was interesting, in that it would have asked the British Government to disclose a lot of secret information. Again from Alderson.
Secret documents before the Appeal Court – which even the defence has not seen – might have provided new information.
They will now remain undisclosed, after the foreign secretary issued a Public Information Immunity certificate stating that to publish them would be to the detriment of UK national security.
Was it just too convenient, that they found a way to release him before the appeal and they had the Scottish Government to blame? Make up your own mind.
But whatever Megrahi was, it would be very unlikely that he acted alone.
So now we are cow-towing to Gaddafi, who it is true to say has the oil we want. Or at least our two-faced government wants. Read any history of Gaddafi and the two make excellent bed-fellows.
Megrahi was just an unfortunate obstacle in the path to good relations, so he had to be removed one way or the other. Here’s what The Times said.
I don’t think anybody got justice in this tragedy. Especially those that ordered the destruction of PanAm 103. They remained completely untouched and free to plan other acts of terrorism and mayhem.
The Anonymous Widower 