The Discredited 070 Phone Numbers
070 numbers were heralded in the UK as personal numbers that you’d keep for life.
I can’t ever remember seeing one in recent years from anyone who was remotely legitimate.
On the one hand they are a marketing disaster, as people think they are expensive mobile phone numbers and don’t ring them, unless they have to.
And on the other hand, every scam seems to be linked to an 070 number.
So I’d never buy one or phone one for that matter.
Metier Pen and Pencil Set
I was clearing out a drawer in the bedroom and found this pristine Metier pen and pencil set by Cross. The label says it is 10 carat gold filled with a model number of 4501.
Metier Pen and Pencil Set by Cross
I don’t think it’s ever been used.
The House with the Private Beach
When we sold Metier in 1985, we bought a house on the Cap d’Antibes called Les Ondes on the Chemin des Ondes.
I had been worried that images from Google showed what looked like a large development where the house had been. But when I walked up the road, the house was still there and appeared to have changed little since we sold it in the early 1990s.
The beach had changed little too, although you will notice there is now a sign, which shows that it is a public beach. It was for most of the year private though, in that there was no parking nearby and others couldn’t be bothered to walk from Juan or Antibes.
But they had made the road one way up the hill!
We spent several happy summers at Les Ones, but in the end sold it as it was always getting burgled when we were there. We also had three hire cars stolen from outside. Talking to staff in the hotel, they felt that things had got a lot better. I hope that’s right. But then it was never too bad until May.
One holiday stands out. My wife and I took, one of her barrister colleagues, Martin, away to the house for a few days. He was and hopefully still is very outspoken. He would lie on that beach and say in a loud upper-class English voice, ‘Look at that lump of lard over there’ at some lady who’d been eating for two. Luckily, no-one understood his English or perhaps most were laughing with him.
That holiday too we went to a Michelin starred restaurant in Antibes, where the wine waiter was the spitting image of Stephen Fry, doing an impression of Lord Melchett from Blackadder, doing a cariacature of a wine waiter complete with tastevin. He never understood why we kept laughing at him.
I also remember this so well, as Martin paid for his holiday with a painting, that sits in my dining room.
Strange Translations
France is very good these days in putting up notices in various languages. This is unlike Montreal, which seems to avoid putting up anything in English at all. But then as they speak good English, it doesn’t matter to the Canadians. But it does to visitors like me with limited language skills. Especially as the Canadian French is not like I learned at school.
But look at this notice in the unisex toilet of the Picasso Museum in Antibes.
Strange Translations
Here’s the English.
Thank you to respect the cleanliness of these places. By measurement of hygiene, female protections must imperatively be thrown in the container reserved for this purpose.
You can understand it, but it does have a certain sense of the surreal about it.
I’m pretty certain that it was translated by BabelFish or some other computerised translators. Or at least when I type it into that site, I get this.
Merci respecter la propreté de ces endroits. Par la mesure de l’hygiène, des protections femelles doivent impérativement être jetées dans le récipient réservé à cette fin.
Which is not too far from the original French in the notice. Note that I can’t type that in directly, as it has too many accents.
Surely though, wouldn’t it be sensible if before the notices are printed, that they knock the translation into something that is better. Then they wouldn’t get pedants like me commenting on the quaint words.
I also feel that in the UK, we should perhaps put more notices up in other languages, but failing that we should all make sure that if there is a word that is the same in most languages then that should be used. For instance, on my trip I saw some French/English notices, where the French was completely understandable to any English speaker. So why put the English up as well?
Busway Humour – 2
There’s nothing like putting the boot into a project that has its troubles. So it is no surprise that the Cambridge Busway is the butt of humour in the Cambridge Evening News.
Dinosaur bones have been discovered on the guided busway – and tourist chiefs hope it could lead to the scheme becoming a major tourism attraction.
It’s not as funny as their previous attempt.
A Cloud
I’ve just photographed this cloud through the window of the hotel.
A Cloud
To illustrate how fleeting this image was, I took another a few minutes later.
A "Not-So-Good" Cloud
A New Tax on Death
I’ve just found out that the cost of extra Death Certificates not ordered when you report a death, is going up from £3.50 or £7 from April 5th.
What was it they said about two things you can’t avoid; death and taxes? It is certainly and and not and/or.
MPs for Hire
Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt and Geoff Hoon have been shown in a compromising position over offering themselves for hire on the Channel 4 programme, Despatches.
But their major crime is that they were stupid. And they were ex-ministers!
I think it just shows the sort of dross we have in Parliament.
We will continue to get time-servers, get-rich-quick-merchants, blow-your-own-trumpeters and other ne’er do-wells, until we properly reform Parliament.
They do work hard, or all the MPs I’ve known did, except one, they work unsocial hours, every part of their personal life is scrutinised by the tabloids and they have lots of family problems. And they do it all for a pittance, which when it is recommended it is increased, they never get all of it.
Could that be why the expenses were so lax and Byers etc., were offering themselves for hire?
Here’s my deal.
- Let’s have half the number of MPs and pay them twice the amount of money. We want quality not quantity.
- But no outside jobs, except perhaps expenses-only non-execs to major companies and organisations in their constituency.
- Put proper non-political staff in the constituency in a fixed office, that is obvious and the first port of call if you have a problem. If the MP changes, the office doesn’t.
- E-mail, SMS and other access to MPs or their offices.
- Give MPs a free and secret vote, so they are no longer party hacks. After all they are our MPs and not the parties.
- Free first-class rail travel to and from the constituency and sensible expenses for second homes if required.
We need a Parliament for the twentieth century, let alone the twenty-first.
The History Boys
I went to see The History Boys last night in Cambridge with a friend.
Perhaps, I should have gone to a matinée as I had a bit of a problem staying awake. But not because of the play which was very good.
I hadn’t actually seen the original stage play, but I did see the film of a few years back with my late wife. The two are different obviously, but the story is virtually the same.
So if it comes to a theatre near you then go and see it. You won’t be disappointed.
Beckham Makes The Times Leader
Yesterday, David Beckham made a leader in The Times.
This illustrates the power of the man and the respect most of us feel for him.
I saw it most in Belarus, when I went to support England. The amazing cheer when he came on, was not just from the England supporters but also from those of Belarus.
I sometimes wonder how we’ll all see Beckham in say twenty years time. He will surprise us all.
The Anonymous Widower 