Did Jerry Wear His Underpants Backwards?
A couple of days ago, I decided to fit a new lock on my bedroom door, as when I bought the house the keys were non-existent. It was then I noticed that the escutcheon was on the inside of the door.
Hence the title of this post!
My Poor Roof
Jerry wasn’t the best roofer, as these pictures show.
He also seems to have created a roof to absorb heat into my house, which probably explains why it gets so hot.
The man was an idiot.
My New Front Door Lock
I’ve finally got a new front door, replacing the rotting one, that Jery had used.
A new door needed a new lock, so I went to the excellent Franchi on the Holloway Road and bought a Banham.
The lock did cost me £230, but then it does have a few advantages other than the strength and security it offers.
The biggest one is that to be secure, I now need only one normal-sized key.
When I go out, I just pull the handle to open the door and close it behind me to securely activate the lock.
It also means that I don’t have to find the key to let visitors in or open the door to such as postmen and couriers. When a visitor leaves they just open the door and shut it behind them.
So hopefully life will be easier and I won’t be constantly going up and down the stairs. It should be said that for most of the year, I have an upstairs window open and I just put my head out to check who’s there!
These Banham locks must be one of the classic British designs. And the company is still owned by the original family.
A Visit From A Clean Rat
I saw the rat scamper across the kitchen and luckily I had a camera handy, as he went down the stairs.
A Visit From A Clean Rat
He didn’t seem too unfriendly, but I wish he’d stop eating my bananas.
You’re Always Close To A Rat In London
It is always said, that in London you’re never far away from a rat. This article on the BBC asks if we’re never more than six feet away from a rat.
Six feet is a large distance compared to the close encounter, I’ve just had during my bath.
My bathroom isn’t completed yet, despite being started nearly two years ago. The bath works, but the toilet hasn’t been fitted yet and there is just a hole into the drains.
As I sat up in the bath, something brown and moving caught my eye on the floor.
It wasn’t a very large example, but I know a rat when I see one. In fact, it looked pretty healthy compared to some that my cats brought in, whilst I was living in Suffolk.
But it was probably less than a metre away from my eyes.
I was just on the point of thinking I should get out of my bath, so I pulled the plug and my only slightly dirty bathwater went down the drain, hopefully showing the rat where to go.
I suspect I should turn myself into the RSPCA, as I’ve probably been guilty of inflicting pain and suffering on an animal.
At least if he or she does come back, they”ll have had a good bath in reasonably warm water!
I’m All Right, Jack
When I bought the house that I live in, I checked all the maps and it looked as far as I could tell it was unlikely to flood.
But then C and myself lived in six places and we were never flooded once. Admittedly, three properties were flats on the third, fifth and eleventh floors of well-built blocks.
My father had always said buy a house on top of the hill, so you don’t get flooded! I think he may have had trouble once, as he lived in a house in River Avenue in Palmers Green.
To make this current house even safer, I live on the first floor above the garage and the downstairs bedrooms and bathroom.
The roof does leak slightly though, but I think I’m more likely to be killed by a falling aircraft in my bed than be drowned.
But some of the flooded houses I’ve seen on the news, were in such a position, that even Noah wouldn’t have looked at them!
If you want to read some sense on the floods read Charles Clover in The Sunday Times today.
He misses out one thing that would improve matters and that is build more flats! As you can’t predict weather like we’ve been having lately and it’ll probably get worse in the next twenty years, if the geography of a site could possibly lead to flooding, then build accordingly.
My IKEA Furniture Now Has Some Brass Knobs!
My house has a theme of dark black-brown steel beams fitted together with brass fittings.
Dark Steel And Brass Bolts
When I bought the house, it still had Jerry’s gold-painted steel bolts, which I have replaced with real brass ones. Even if some might be just be real bolts glued into Jerry’s crude holes.
So when I bought some of IKEA’s Expedit boxes, which are just the right colour for the beams, I was disappointed that they only come with natural aluminium knobs.
IKEA’s Aluminium Knobs
So it was off to Birmingham by train to visit Honeyglen Anodising in Sparkbrook to see what they could do. I’ve now got the trial batch and here’s one in place.
Expedit With Brass Knobs
I’ve now got to get all the others together and send them off to Birmingham. I am getting them in a pretty standard brass colour, but there are more details here of the colours available.
Work Starts On A Bigger Overground
I found this article about work at Clapham Junction station to prepare for longer trains on the London Overground at the end of 2014.
You don’t hear or read many complaints about London’s newest railway, from passengers or even moans from staff. In many ways this is a tribute to the engineers and architects, who’ve turned a very shabby almost-derelict railway into a superstar.
There are a lot of lessons to be learned from how Transport for London has created the Overground, that should be applied to transport projects throughout the world.
In some ways , the stars of the line are the Class 378 trains. You rarely hear of train failures and the interiors still seem pristine after nearly four years of service. And now, because of their design, they’re being extended by the simple addition of a fifth carriage in the middle.
And of course they were all designed and built in Derby!
Gradually, the stations are being improved and in a few years, some of the grubbier will be up to the standard of the best.
On a personal note, as well as giving me a lot of transport options, in common with many others who live along the line, the Overground has probably contributed to the rise in the value of my house.
The Ten Things That Annoy Me Most In This House
I’m getting increasingly annoyed with some of the features of this house.
1. The Front Door
It doesn’t shut properly in the wrong sort of weather and sometimes, I inadvertently leave it open. It also sometimes locks me out, when I say put something in the bin.
I’ve had three people come to quote to fix it, but I’ve never received a quote and it’s as bad as ever.
2. My Bathroom Cabinet
Virtually, every time I brush my teeth, I bump my head on it. In one case it did this when I got up from the toilet.
3. The Lack Of Handrails on the Staircase
I was trained in how to avoid accidents at ICI in the late 1960s and consequently, I always use handrails for safety. But I want them, in brass to match the theme of the house. People look at me, as if I’m mad, but I’m just safety and design conscious.
4.Poor Lighting Everywhere
Where I’m typing this is dark, unless She puts the big light on and every room has some of the worst lighting I’ve ever seen. One of the problems it’s not fixed is that I can’t find any lights that satisfy me. I’ve searched all over London and there is nothing.
5. The Mixer Taps In The Kitchen
If I’m washing up in the sink and want some cold water, it’s impossible unless I run the water to get it really cold. The spout is also so low, with anything in the sink, you can’t do something simple like fill a kettle.
6. The Small Fridge In The Kitchen
The fridge is just too small. But at least the one I bought, is better than the one that was supporting the work top, when I moved in.
7. The Lack of a Freezer In The Kitchen
I suppose I could have one if I had a small one in the fridge! But that would make the fridge smaller.
8. The Inaccessible Cupboards In The Kitchen
The idiot who designed these needs to be banned from any design or building work, for serious crimes against practicality and design.
9. The Inability to Control Temperature and Humidity
I’ve had a new control system and boiler installed and am running a big humidifier, but still the humidity won’t go anywhere near the value I want. There must be an expert somewhere, who can tell me what to do.
10. The Lack Of Lights In The Wardrobes
Try finding the right clothes in the dark.
And those ten, were just for starters!
Getting Back To Normal
After yesterday’s disaster on getting to Doncaster, which was compounded by Ipswich playing extremely well and winning three-nil, things seem to be getting back to normal.
They are dual-handed on BBC Breakfast with Naga Munchetty and Jon Kay.
Even our cricketers are doing better!
But I’ve still got a long list of things to sort out.
My e-mail and e-commerce computer has a missing R on the keyboard. I think a USB keyboard and mouse will solve that one.
I’m typing this on my other computer, which I hate because it’s Windows 7 and Office 2010, which is just another case of fiddling and is far inferior for my purposes to Vista and Office 2007. I also hate the keyboard on this computer, as the Delete key is in the wrong place amongst many design faults. Can’t they leave well enough alone. All PCs and laptops must have the same keyboard! It should be the law!
I’m also virtually typing in the dark, as I have this computer at the other end of the table, and Jerry’s lights are crap. I need to grow another pair of hands, so I can put the Anglepoise up at this end of the table. When I first saw this house, I said that the lights must be replaced, but short of tearing down the ceiling, no-one seems to have any idea on how to do it. Obviously, Jerry used to walk around with a miner’s helmet on.
I must hope that the plumber can get over to fix my heating system. It’s just nineteen in here.
The humidity is up to forty six, which is better, but that is due to my little humidifier, I bought at John Lewis. The humidifier, I hired at great expense has failed.
One of the weird things about this house is that small electrical things fail. One of my Nokia 6310i’s needed repair and the menders thought I’d dropped it in water. I hadn’t. The latest casualty is an expensive mouse, which seems to have given up the ghost. It wouldn’t even let me change the battery, as it seemed to have glued itself solid. So I’m using an old fashioned USB mouse shared between my two computers. And both have their USB ports on the left, which means the cable runs in front of me and constantly gets tangled up in my dressing gown.
Life could be worse!
The Anonymous Widower 