Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, ‘Be submissive wives; you are to be submissive to your husbands.
Newt Gingrich Faces His Biggest Fight
Newt Gingrich seems to have one of the biggest requirements for a Republican Presidential Candidate; stupidity.
According to this piece in the Guardian , he has now started to use Eye of the Tiger, the theme song from Rocky III as his campaign song. But Newt didn’t ask permission from the copyright holder.
I suppose Newt could fight Sylvester Stallone for the right to use it. Now that would be a fight worth seeing, but it would be rather pointless, as I think Sly doesn’t actually own the rights.
So helpful Guardian readers have provided some suitable alternatives for Newt.
D.I.V.O.R.C.E
Space Oddity
Frontier Psychiatrist
Tragedy
When Two Fools Collide
Stupid White Men
You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly
Etc. Etc.
But the two I like are Born to Lose by Ray Charles and Go Now by The Moody Blues.
The Americans Don’t Have A Sense of Humour
It’s all here.
I rest my case!
Now we have even more reasons to not visit the Land of the Hi-tech Death Penalty!
Why Does My Computer Call Me Jim?
I know I’m called James, although not everybody who reads this blog knows that.
But why does this computer sometimes call me Jim. No-one does that. In fact it was my father’s nickname, so I wouldn’t have used it would I?
Does anybody know how to change this American rediculousness?
Incidentally, if anybody calls me Jim on the phone, I immediately put it down, as it is probably a scam.
Is This The Sickest Lawsuit Ever?
David Belniak was drunk, had taken cocaine and Xanax, when he crashed his car at 88 mph into the back of someone else’s in a 55 mph zone and killed all four occupants. He got a twelve year sentence and you can read the whole story here in the Daily Mail.
He is now suing the relatives of those he killed for the mental anguish he went through.
What’s Got A Dozen Legs and An IQ of 6?
See if you can work it out from these quotes?
Here’s one from Michele Bachmann.
And here’s one from Rick Perry.
You can always follow me on Tweeter.
And this beautiul one is from Newt Gingrich
It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live.
Isn’t that a mangled version of Do as I say, but not as I do.
This one of Mitt Romney’s at least is easy to understand.
We should double Guantanamo!
And here’s one from Rick Santorin.
One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. [Sex] is supposed to be within marriage. It’s supposed to be for purposes that are yes, conjugal…but also procreative. That’s the perfect way that a sexual union should happen…This is special and it needs to be seen as special.
Frightening isn’t it!
Although, he’s out of the race, here’s a really stupid quote from Herman Cain.
The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is. A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.
No wonder America is obese. But at least quotes like this help to cost dear old Herman his place in the race.
I was going to tag this with Humour. But that would be something this bunch of stupidos, as C would say, wouldn’t understand such a word.
God Isn’t Listening
Apparently, Texas is in the midst of a drought.
According to The Times today, last April Rick Perry, the governor and Presidential candidate, lead a prayer for rain in the state.
And guess what?
It hasn’t rained.
Either God doesn’t exist or he/she doesn’t like the fact that Rick Perry executes a lot of people in his state.
American Celebrity Chef Gets Diabetes
American celebrity city, Paula Deen, has just announced she has diabetes, like 26,000,000 other Americans. Apparently, her signature dish is a hamburger in between a doughnut. Enough said! And very gluten-rich too!
But she has got a deal to endorse a diabetes drug.
The United States is eating itself to being a has-been power. And helped by her recipes! She should be kept away from the media for ever, as she is probably doing as much damage to the population of the United States as your average terrorist.
In a few years time, they won’t be able to find enough fit people to play any serious sport or join the army.
Only In The United States Could Speaking French be a Disadvantage
According to this account on the BBC’s web site, Mitt Romney is being denounced for being able to speak French and actually doing it in public.
I think we have a rather different attitude in Europe, as although we argue with the French many of our politicians have used French when talking publicly in France. Although, we do make a joke of it between us. As two old friends would. Apparently, the French version of Allo Allo deliberately used bad French as a joke, even more than the English version did with Officer Crabtree being a deliberate parody of Edward Heath.
Remember too, the Queen speaks reasonable French, as this article attests.
We now live in a world, where many more people are bilingual, as their parents were immigrants. So the US has a large proportion of Spanish speakers and we have quite a lot of speakers of many other languages.
But go back to 1900 and has anything changed. Yiddish and German would have been heard in many places in London and New York for a start.
But now, only in America would the ability to speak a foreign language be considered to be a handicap for a politician!
Kaletsky on America
Anatole Kaletsky in The Times is one of my favourite commentators and I usually read what he says.
Today’s missive, The New World is slipping behind the times, is unlikely to go down very well with those conservative Republicans whose main aim seems to be to take America back to the good old days, when men were men and preachers were preachers. Women, blacks and other second class citizens did what they were told.
This paragraph is one of many, that doesn’t pull any punches.
The US is the only major country not even to have considered adopting the metric system, and which still uses fahrenheit instead of celsius and refuses to publish railway and airline timetables using the 24-hour clock. And then there are the scarily anachronistic social views, ranging from the death penalty to creationism over evolution.
America is going down a very small dead-end. We had better not follow them!
You have to admire Kaletsky to get the death penalty, metrication and evolution in one paragraph.
Rick Santorum on Poland
I have just found this post on the New York Times, which describes the mess Rick Santorum has got himself into over Poland.
I thought one of the golden rules of American elections, was don’t annoy the Irish, Italian, Polish and Jewish voters.
The Anonymous Widower 