Alcohol Has Never Been Allowed On US Navy Ships – Wrong!
Anybody who knows anything about warships, knows those in the United States Navy are alcohol-free.
However, may years ago, I met a guy, who in the early-1960s had been an officer on a nuclear submarine in the United States Navy. They had been doing a joint exercise with the Royal Navy and he started the tale by saying that when the two navies work together, if possible all meetings between senior officers are held on Royal Navy ships, as food and drink is better. Especially on November 11th.
After this exercise the submarine went into Portsmouth for a bit of rest and recreation and to replenish supplies, before returning to the United States. The duties of the teller of this tale included getting the provisions. As one can imagine and especially in the early-1960s, lots of things they needed were not available in the naval base at Portsmouth, although they would be now. The only thing for which there wasn’t an obviously an easy substitute was the fresh orange juice. After all, Portsmouth isn’t exactly Florida. So the helpful men of the Senior Service substituted several hundred bottles of beer.
When he got back to the submarine, he was obviously rather nervous and decided to make a clean breast of it to the Captain. After all several members of the crew, if not all, now knew of the beer, so to ditch it would ruin his relationship with them. The Captain warned him not to do it again, said could he try a few bottles and provided he didn’t see any of the beer or anybody the remotest bit intoxicated, he would let the matter rest.
So where did they hide all of these bottles of beer, as you could imagine that secret space is a bit limited on a submarine?
They hid the bottles in the torpedo tubes.
I’ve Never Eaten A Chicken McNugget!
And after Rod Liddle’s description of what goes in them, I surely don’t think I’ve missed any essential food or vitamins. He entitles the piece,
Listen up, you silly McNuggets: start saying ‘no’ to kids, so I think you can get his drift. Or should I say his very caustic drift, as he weaves the story round the life and imminent death of Stacey Irvine, who’s lived on McNuggets since she was two.
A Dangerous Van?
I saw this van parked in the City
A Dangerous Van?
But it did catch my eye, which is the purpose the paint job.
Do We Really Need More Subways?
It has been announced today, that Subway is to open a large number of new outlets and create a lot of jobs.
The jobs are welcome, but do we really need all these sandwich shops selling obesity?
As a coeliac the answer is an overwhelming no, as they have no gluten-free products. But then we’re all going to pick up the bill for the obesity through the NHS.
One of the biggest problems too is that they might create a lot of jobs, but how many small places will be put out of business, thus adding to the jobless pile.
We should tax all fast food shops on the calories of the average order.
That would fix them! Hopefully, by restructuring the product ine.
I particular hate Subway for two other reasons; they are always throwing junk mail through my letter box, despite a prohibition notice and lots of pavements are blocked by their salesmen handing out flyers.
Do we really want to import the United States’s worst export; obesity?
Cleaning Ducts
Outside my house at the moment is a van from a company that says it cleans ducts.
By this it means those big air vents you get in places like kitchens and I guess they are cleaning the ducts in the pub a couple of doors away, that is being refurbished.
It reminds me of a story about Enfield Rolling Mills.
An apprentice called Dave Howard was asked to clean the ducts in the canteen. On putting his head inside, he found that they contained quite a number of rats. As he didn’t like the thought of mixing it in the ducts with little furry animals, he decided on another course of action. He just switched everything off and made sure a lot of hot air was driven through the ducts.
The strategy worked in that it blew the rats away, but the canteen wasn’t able to sell any food for several days because of the smell.
American Celebrity Chef Gets Diabetes
American celebrity city, Paula Deen, has just announced she has diabetes, like 26,000,000 other Americans. Apparently, her signature dish is a hamburger in between a doughnut. Enough said! And very gluten-rich too!
But she has got a deal to endorse a diabetes drug.
The United States is eating itself to being a has-been power. And helped by her recipes! She should be kept away from the media for ever, as she is probably doing as much damage to the population of the United States as your average terrorist.
In a few years time, they won’t be able to find enough fit people to play any serious sport or join the army.
Who Drank All the Beer?
Police in North London have arrested several fellons in possession of about 1,000 beer kegs according to this report.
The report doesn’t say whether the kegs were empty or not, but the police are looking for a several overweight men, who are very drunk.
An Insult In My Recycling Bin
Thursday is recycyling day and I didn’t bother to get my recycling bin in. So someone put a present in it.
An Insult In My Recycling Bin
It was a half-eaten steak pie. Is this a deliberate insult as obviously the junk food isn’t gluten-free? They could have put it in my wheelie bin for general rubbish, as that was actually next to the other bin. But they would have had to lift the lid!
If we assume it wasn’t a deliberate insult, it just goes to show that those eating junk food have few manners and feel it is their right to throw the remains anywhere.
It’s a pity that the pie didn’t have a name on it, as I would have someone to sue, if I felt the effort worthwhile.
Never Buy A House That’s Had Tenants In it!
When I bought my house about eighteen months ago, I liked it. I also got a good discount as it needed some work, as the tenants who’d occupied it on behalf of the previous owner hadn’t looked after it.
I still like it, but the faults in the various systems are a complete pain in the neck.
The cooker put in by the previous owner is totally unsuitable.
An Unsuitable Cooker
In common with every other appliance, there are no instruction manuals, but the biggest problem is that it is too big and stops the doors of the kitchen cupboards opening properly. It’s also a gas cooker, which I hate and the sooner, I can get rid of it and fit a proper electric cooker the better. To be fair to Baumatic, they did at least send me a manual, but that doesn’t help with its unsuitability.
The dishwasher has been wrecked and although it is a good make and I have the knowledge to make it work, I have decided that the best option is to get a new one, as all the baskets and shelves are broken and to get everything clean, you need to wash half the glasses and plates by hand afterwards.
But my biggest moan with the house is the underfloor heating system. When nPower fitted the new meter, they advised me to service the boiler which I did. It also needed a new control system, as the previous owner or the tenants had rewired things themselves.
It now works very intermittently, with the result the house is either stone cold or frighteningly hot. In cold weather, I have to ratchet up the controls and switch the boiler off and on to get any heat.
At least I’ve got hot water, although for the last few days the showers haven’t worked. I thought today, I’d have a bath, and I did, but then the water didn’t run out. Although to be fair it did eventually.
I can’t wait to sell my house in Suffolk, so I can get someone in to fix it all here properly.
I lost count of the number of times, I’ve phoned plumbers and they’ve said they’ll come and haven’t. But then there isn’t much work about!
I do have one worry about the heating and that is the problem might be that the house wasn’t very well insulated by Gerry the builder. So is heating the house, is a bit like pushing water uphill?
Roll on the spring, when I can switch it off.
Eating Healthily On The Cheap
The Government has got together with Ainsley Harriott to promote healthy eating on the cheap.
Where I live in Hackney my letter box is stuffed full of money off vouchers for kebab and burger houses.
This campaign will fail, unless the problem of junk food is addressed.
Perhaps the rates on all unhealthy eating places should be increased.
The Anonymous Widower 