The Devil Would be Proud of Me!
I’ve just found a whole box of bibles in the loft. They went straight in the skip!
The only religious book I’ve kept is a Protestant Dictionary. It’s the funniest book you’ll ever read!
The Devil would be proud of me!
Radio Balls Pond Road
My new house is just round the corner from the infamous Balls Pond Road. When I found this picture, it brought back a lot of memories of thast iconic radio show, Round the Horne. They used to feature Radio Balls Pond Road.
The series was written by Barry Took and Marty Feldman. Barry actually went to the same school as I did, Minchenden Grammar School in Southgate.
The Tale of Boughton’s Nail
In the late 1950s or early 1960s my father embarked on a major reconstruction of his printing works in Station Road, Wood Green. We ripped out large quantities of rubbish and covered the walls in corrugated asbestos sheets to hide the damp. It worked very well, but what would modern Health and Safety have said. At one point in our destruction we came across a cm. thick plank of wood, which someone had attempted to fix to a six by four beam with a six inch nail. As he didn’t have the strength to drive the nail home, this bodger had attempted to bend it flat. He’d failed. It was and probably still is, the worst bit of carpentry I’ve ever seen. I can remember that my fsther said it was probably done by a man called Boughton, who.d worked for the family firm some years previously. So to me whenever I see some really awful handiwork, I think of the unfortunate Boughton. Incidentally, I’ve never met anyone with that surname and I don’t know how I’ll react.
But perhaps one of his descendants did this?
A Very Bad Door Stop
The doorstop is too small and whoever put it in cracked the tiles and did a lot of damage. It’s even more stupid as just round the corner in the Balls Pond Road is one of the best shops for door furniture in London.
I do have a thing about door stops, as I was mugged by one in Belarus.
I shall be visiting the hardware store!
Installing the Virgins
Men living alone have curious habits. But two things they need are decent broadband for the Internet and football on the television.
As the new house is in a cable area, one of the reasons, I visited yesterday was to get the cable connected.
By twelve and ahead of schedule, they were both working, after installation by a competent and charming young lad, who didn’t seem to make any mistakes, except leave a cable in his van and go back to retrieve it.
I also got a speed of 54 Mbps, when I’m only paying for 20!
So virgins aren’t as expensive as they used to be!
How Not to Paint
Mark didn’t like this, as he didn’t want me to think he was to blame, so I photographed it.
How Not to Paint
Things like this grate with me, so hopefully Mark will be able to put right some of the faults of the original builders. But really it’s not his job.
How Not to Put in Bolts
In the previous post, I indicated that the new house has featured steel beams. The stair-case is also in steel and painted the same dark chocolate colour.
But look at this picture.
Bolts in a Staircase
My father would have said that this was probably put together by a one-eyed Irishman in the dark, as some are round one way and others are the other. We may not blame others like we used to in the 1950s, but whoever put these in had no basic sense of design and order. I’d love to see the architect’s drawings, to see what they intended. Some bolts look to be a brass colour, so there might have been some instructions.
I will change them at some point, but whether I use brass, bronze, stainless steel or chrome, with or without cap nuts is a question that has to be decided.
Whatever I do though, I’ll put them in properly and in order.
The Intelligent Decorator
My father was no mean wielder of a paintbrush, not in an artistic sense, but as a decorator. As he used to drive me to his print works in Wood Green, he’d sometimes tell how when they built the houses in Waterfall Road in Southgate in the 1930s, he had a contract to paint them for just a few pounds a house. He did teach me, but I’ve never been very good at it, although I used to be able to hang wallpaper. My hands probably aren’t good enough now!
My late father-in-law was also a professional painter and decorator in Barnet, working for a firm called Curtis. He would tell tales about how in the richer parts of the area, such as Hadley Wood, how sometimes he’d wallpaper the same house, as many as three times, because the lady of the house or the cat didn’t like the new colour scheme. C used to say he had endless patience, which was why he was in so much demand.
And then there was Terry. He used to do the decorating for us at Debach and when we moved to West Suffolk, we still continued to use him. He was neat and tidy, never smoked and sometimes you never even knew he was in the house. In one case, we’d asked him to paint a bedroom and C phoned him up to ask when he was coming. But he’d already done it!
Sadly Terry died of cancer a couple of years ago. The funeral was one of the best attended, I’ve ever seen, such was the respect he was held in the town of Ipswich.
So when I see good decorators I know what I’m looking at.
My new house was in a terrible state, as the previous owner had rented it to tenants. There were rather hideous constructions in some of the wardrobes, television wires everywhere and all sorts of damage. The builders had also not built some of the details properly either and the house had never been desnagged, as it should have been under its guarantee.
I arrived yesterday about nine and found that the decorator, one Mark from Harlow, had really cracked on and was doing a good job.
My New Living Room Takes Shape
The picture shows the main living area of the house. The walls are being painted ivory and the original specification said that the steel beams were to be black. But the first thing Mark said was that the beams just needed a good clean and the original chocolate colour would be much better. How very Great Western, as it’s almost chocolate and cream!
By the way, notice the blinds in the photo, they may be rather broken, but that was because they’re the wrong size in the first place.
But to return to the colour scheme. I agreed with Mark on the colour of the beams and they will be left, at least for a few years.
Terry, my father and my father-in-law may be long gone, but it seems I’ve found another inteligent decorator.
It is Really Thirty Years?
When anybody writes the history of the twentieth century in the future, one of the most significant days will be December 8th 1980. It was on this day that John Lennon was murdered in New York.
Lennon was a bit hero of mine and probably still is, as in the 1960s, his attititude was an inspiration to me, as the Beatles showed what could be achieved if you just believed in yourself. I would not have succeeded like I possibly have, without the four musicians from Liverpool.
I was also lucky enough to see them live at the Hammersmith Odeon around Christmas 1964, when several of us from school climbed into my battered Austin 8, for the trip across London. One image of that concert is Lesley Clarke, who was at school with me and in the party, trying to get the girl in front to cut the screaming, as she couldn’t hear anything.
Without the Beatles, I might never have gone to Liverpool, as who would have chosen to go to University in that grim port city in the north?
Liverpoool made me, as I found C there and our first child was conceived in the city.
We both shared a taste for his music, as does or did our sons.
When C died, it was the raw tracks of Lennon’s songs coupled with the haunting ones that Dory Previn created that brought me through.
Now is the day to move completely on. I owe it to C and my son. And to John!
The world must move on too! I would love to see two things die before I do; the death penalty and war.
John and C would have agreed.
It’s Grim Up North!
I am a soft Southerner and a proud Londoner to boot, with the tough genes of a true mongrel. But especially after today’s weather reports from Jockshire, no sane man or woman would want to live north of Cambridge. I might make an exception for Liverpool, as I like my culture to have an edge.
A5 3-Ring Binders
I have hundreds of these and they’re all new.
A5 3-Ring Binder
Anybody who wants them can have them, but they’ll have to be collected from here. Just leave a comment and I’ll contact you!
I’ve now moved and they asre on eBay.
