Crystal Palace 3 – Ipswich 1
Selhurst Park is a dump. It looks like it’s been nicked from all sorts of places and to me sums up why as a North Londoner, you rarely venture far south of the River. Whoever’s idea it was to put the river in the centre of London had a good one, as it creates a proper barrier between what is worth seeing and what is not. Selhurst Park is definitely in the once seen, why did you bother category.
Selhurst Park
This picture shows the bad view from the visitors’ stand, but it doesn’t do justice to the old wooden seats, the cramped conditions, the bad screen and the general dereliction of most of the ground. The pitch wasn’t good either.
The football was ruined by the sending off of Jon Stead. The foul was bad, but as he’d just been upended by a Palace player I suspect, he was too angry to think about what he was doing. It was the sort of foul though, that some referees would have been lenient with.
So I left a few minutes before the end and struggled to get back to civilisation, eventually taking a bus and then a train from Penge. And that was cold, but then all trains south of the Thames seem to be much colder than those north of the river.
I’ve now woken up and found I have a splinter in my palm. From those dreaded wooden seats no doubt!
Stuart Hall
There have been some wonderful masters of the English language, who have not trod the boards or written great books, but have entertained us doing sports reports on the radio.
I remember virtually a whole lifetime listening to those great broadcasters, John Arlott, EW Swanton, Brian Johnston, Henry Blofeld and others on the BBC’s Test Match Special. Sadly, for whatever reason the use of the more eccentric commentators seems to be on the wane.
I listen to and watch a lot of football on both radio and television and none of the live commentators have either the irreverence or command of the language of say an Arlott or a Johnston. But when it comes to match summaries, there are one or two, who uphold the tradition.
Years ago, Geoffrey Green would enchant everybody with his reports on Sports Report on the BBC every Saturday. He would always do an absolutely wonderful two minutes on the match he had watched. This is the conclusion in this entry in Wikipedia.
It is safe to say that like the FA Cup, Geoffrey Green set the bonfire of football writing alight with his rhapsodic flow of words that were never used before to describe the simple yet beautiful game of football. His career paralleled the rise of football from a restricted and disjointed following in most countries until the arrival of the World Cup and European Cup, to being firmly entrenched as the king of games with such a popularity to rival even the Olympics. English football and its unique history will always remain secure in the knowledge that Geoffrey Green has cached the folklore of its incipient era.
He probably had more effect on my newspaper reading habits, as I still buy The Times, which I first bought to read his football reports, such was their prose. I can remember reading his report of the League Cup Final where Swindon beat Arsenal in the League Cup Final. It’s one of his many classics.
Today we have no Geoffrey Greens on the radio, but we do have Stuart Hall reporting from the School of Science (Everton) and the Theatre of Base Comedy (Manchester City) amongst others. His use of language is to say the least different!
What prompted this entry, is that on Christmas Day, the much-loved Hall is eighty. He was interviewed on BBC Radio 5 this week and gave us all this memorable quote.
Life is a long joke. You don’t get the punchline until you’re six feet under.
We need more Halls, Greens, Arlotts, Johnstons and Blofelds, but I doubt we’ll see their ilk in the future.
Thanks and No Thanks Mr. Hughes
It seems that Moneybags Manchester City are doing their best to alienate everybody.
To someone who has watched football for many years, the problem at City is the team. Or the fact that they aren’t one! It’s probably impossible to get the City’s bunch of mercenaries to work as one anyway.
Mancini will need time to clear out the non-triers, buy a load more players and then get his team. But will he get the time needed?
Fighting Talk
This program on BBC Radio 5, is sometimes the highlight of Saturday. Especially, this Saturday, when I was hoping to go to see Ipswich at Scunthorpe and then have supper with an old friend. But the match has been called off and I don’t know what is going to happen about supper.
So I’m listening to Fighting Talk. They sometimes bring up subjects that really get you going.
The first is the game of Bum Hoopla. Apparently, someone went to a lucky dip Christmas Party, where a Bum Hoopla set was one of the prizes. Unfortunately, it was won by one of the women in the office…
They also brought up the subject of double duvets in football colours. One of my sons had a Liverpool duvet as a kid, but now he has seen sense and supports Ipswich. I wouldn’t have one on my bed, even if you could get one, but just imagine bringing a new lady to your bedroom and seeing a full size duvet cover in say Manchester United. For most women that would be a real turn-off.
I did find one in Arsenal colours. Yuck!
Sathnam Sanghera
Sathnam Sanghera is one of The Times columnists.
He is also someone who I try to read each week. I suppose that despite his background from an Indian family in Wolverhampton being very different to mine of a group of London mongrels, that we have a lot in common. He usually makes me laugh a bit and always makes me smile.
Take this first paragraph from his piece yesterday which was ostensibly about cats and their relationship with men.
If you’d asked me, at the age of 10, what my life would be like at the age of 33, I would have probably mentioned a semi-detached in Wolverhampton; the 2009 equivalent of a Ford Orion on the drive; a Punjabi wife of ten years or so; a couple of spoddy kids who, like me, were good at maths, but crap at English and sport; a job at a local building society; a garden; male pattern baldness, and a cat. That I have none of these things is not a cause of distress or concern — they might still come and, besides, more thrilling things, such as houseplants, have taken their place. But it does puzzle me that I still don’t own a cat.
If you’d asked me the same question at about the same age, I would have probably thought something similar, except that I’d be running my father’s printing business in Wood Green.
So we do have a lot in common.
The most interesting thing is that Sathnam says, that he was good at maths, but crap at English and sport. And here is Sathnam writing well-crafted articles in one of the world’s premier newspapers. In fact, as his column is probably syndicated, then it might be several.
I was the same! Maths good, English bad. But now, even if I say it myself that is not true. The maths and its usage is still good and that of those around me sadly gets worse. Does teaching not instill the joy of maths, physics, chemistry and the other sciences into students any more? But it is my English that has improved so much!
Why? I don’t know. Perhaps, Sathnam could tell me, as it’s probably the same reason his has improved.
I was crap at sport too. But now I play a lot of real tennis and was actually a National Champion a couple of years ago. Don’t tell anybody, that it was in my handicap group and only five people entered!
So there is hope for Sathnam’s sport too!
Oxford
I went to Oxford today to play real tennis for Cambridge University Real Tennis Club against the old enemy.
I’m afraid that the captions aren’t up to the usual standards, as I don’t know Oxford very well.
I did win the tennis though!
Amelie Mauresmo
I thought she was just a good tennis player. But now I read in The Independent that she is gay.
Does it matter? Not one jot!
I suspect too, her fellow professionals, the sports writers and tennis fans didn’t bother either, as she is quoted as saying “I lived 10 magical and unbelievable years.”
Beckham to the Rescue
The English World Cup Bid is in trouble. Just too many egos and too many faceless bureaucrats.
So today, David Beckham has been pressing flesh and smoothing up to those that make the decisions in FIFA.
He’s a star.
Tiger Woods and Jesper Parnevik
Golf is a very boring pastime. It is not a sport and shouldn’t be in the Olympics. But occasionally it gets livened up by the odd scandal or spat. Tiger Woods has done something, but if most of us had done it, we would not make headlines even in the East Anglian Daily Times. He should be left alone to sort his problems out.
Then Jesper Parnevik puts the boot in, suggesting that Tiger’s wife should have used a bigger club.
Just imagine them being the last pair in an important tournament. Or playing each other as the last single in a very tight Ryder Cup.
Golf just got a whole lot more interesting!
Ipswich Win in Cardiff
Phew! Two late goals, but they did it, by two to one.
Apparently, we had a bit of luck. About time to!
The Anonymous Widower 