Giles Coren In Today’s Times
I always read Giles Coren, as I find him funny and today in his piece in the Times he’s excelled himself on stockpiling. This is part of his piece on Gregg’s, which as I’m a coeliac, I find even funnier for some reason.
On a personal note — I have not eaten a Greggs pie in 15 years, and that was too recent. Everything Greggs sells is as grey, flabby and nutritionally otiose as a braised portion of George Galloway’s arse. The whole point of having a job and a few quid is so that you don’t have to eat at Greggs. It makes me sick to see politicians pretending they eat there. Greggs is survival rations for poor people and the homeless. Greggs is a major factor in working-class obesity. Twenty per cent VAT on its hot pies is not enough. It should be taxed to death for the sake of the NHS, which ploughs £5 billion a year into obesity-related illness.
I accept that as long as Greggs thrives, ignorant fat people will eat there three times a day, but it is cruel to put them in the spotlight as Labour has done. Some destitute people live on dog food, but do you want to see the Labour front bench kneeling over a bowl marked “Fido”, chowing on Pedigree Chum? Because they’d do it, you know. They’d do it like a shot.
I suppose it’s just the thought of eating a pie, that makes me want to get ready for the reaction my body would take.
If you haven’t bought your Saturday paper, it looks like Giles piece is well worth the cover price.
The Toddler On The Bus
I went into Islington on the bus yesterday to get my supper and the bus was rather empty on the lower deck, except for a guy sitting in front of me, who had a little girl about two, sitting in a buggy in front of him.
He was eating some sort of odious processed meat pie and feeding small scraps of it to the child. I thought of telling him off, but then I restrained myself, as I didn’t want a fist in my face.
No wonder children are getting unhealthier and more obese.
By the time I got off the bus, I’d just about had enpough of the smell of that pie. So let’s tax them to the hilt for the sake of all our health!
Own Up! Which Of You Is Responsible?
I am now taking four extra drugs.
My Four Extra Pills
But my diarrhoea has all but stopped! So which one has caused that? Clockwise from the top left, they are furosemide, spironolactone, Cardicor and Ramipril.
But still I’m glad to get rid of it after two years. Does it show what a chancy business taking drugs is?
Is It The Stroke Or The Old Injury?
At school, a bully broke my humerus. He was twisting the arm upside down and hitting the tricep muscle repeatedly. I tried to turn round to hit him back after about twenty minutes or so of this torture and I overbalanced and all the extra pressure on my arm broke it. It sounded like the noise you get, when you snap a raw carrot. I have only ever had it X-rayed once and that was at the old Highlands Hospital in Winchmore Hil, just after the break. I had seen pictures of green-stick fractures and it looked like that, with bits of bone everywhere.
Over the years it has sometimes been very painful. Once about ten years ago, I went to see a doctor and he got a CTScan done on the shoulder, as he thought, that was where the problem was. Since my stroke it sometimes has decided to annoy me. It did quite a bit in Hong Kong, but it couldn’t have been too bad when I was out of hospital, as I was able to drive cars around the yard at the stud. When I first moved to London it couldn’t have been too bad, as I was able to do some interesting metalwork. But it has been very bad over the last couple of weeks and that includes hospital. But you cope and I’ve now found a computer, that will allow me to type easier right handed.
I should say that the hand is generally pretty good and I can use it to help me get up and down stairs on a bus. Last night for instance, whilst standing on the New Bus for London, I was using my left hand.
On the other hand, there have been lengthy periods in my life, when I used to wear my heavy watch on the right hand and I have always slept on my right side or face down, with no weight on my left arm. I even did that as a child before the arm was broken, due to the layout of my first bedroom.
So is the pain in my left are due to this old injury or down to the stroke?
It Never Rains But It Pours
After my brief escapade into hospital last week, I thought everything was better.
But now I learn, that my penis implant has failed. Apparently, the piece of broom handle that was used has got wordworm and has now collapsed. The French surgeon, who did the job at great expense can’t be traced and the NHS doesn’t want to know.
I’ve talked to Cuprinol and they have no idea what I should do. If anybody has any idea, please reply to this post.
Sir Roger Bannister and the Affect of Heat and Humidity
I didn’t realise that one of the first papers that Sir Roger produced was about the affect of heat and humidity on people. He did his research in Aden in 1957.
I couldn’t find the paper, but I did find him quoted in a Powerpoint presentation on the subject, written Col. John Gardner, MD for the United States Army or Marines.
The notion that courage and esprit de corps can somehow defeat the principles of physiology is not only wrong but dangerously wrong.
I don’t know what the temperatures and humidity are like in Afghanistan are like, but do the British and American forces take note of the doctor.
Not Annoyed By Students
As UCH is a teaching hospital, I was always being visited by students, who obviously needed to examine real patients.
I don’t mind this, but others might. But they’ve obviously got to practice somewhere.
I chatted with one all evening, as she only left at about half past eleven. It was certainly a better experience, than watching the dreadful TV system.
The UCH TV/Phone System
It’s no better than the one at Addenbrookes. And there’s still no BBC 5 Live! As Fornula 1 is not on BBC1 much of the time these days, that will be a cause for complaint.
The accounting for the cards didn’t seem to be too accurate either!
I did laugh at the rather smug message.
You are enjoying <channel>
Does anybody with a brain enjoy Channel 5?
Next time, I go into hospital, I’m taking a radio.
The Unusual Things You See in Hospital
I’d never realised until I saw it that all London buses have large identfication letters on their roofs, but looking down from my room I could easily see them.
I suppose they are for identification purposes from Police helicopters or the Air Ambulance.
A Couple of Days in Hospital
Some will know that on Wednesday I collapsed, called an ambulance and ended up in University College Hospital. I thought at first I was having another stroke, but whilst lying on the floor, I felt that this wasn’t the case. The paramedics couldn’t get in, but luckily the builder opposite, who I talk to most days, had a ladder and came through the open window.
I called the ambulance, as my left hand was twitching after doing a lot of typing. These days, I use my left hand for shift and control and I think all the movement had irritated my humerus. And no! It’s not funny. In the end I got frightened, and it got me very worried, so that is why I dialled 999. I sat on the chair and when trying to stand up, my left leg gave way so I just laid on the floor, until I was rescued.
The trip to hospital was quick and they were examining me within a few minutes.
They ended up admitting me and I was in a First Floor single room in the tower, looking out over the Euston Road.
I was fully checked out and they found there were problems with my heart, which I did know about to a certain extent. But I got a very good diagnosis for free. when I was having the echnocardiogram, it felt like I was back in Hong Kong, as the operator of the machine and his student, were both Chinese.
I left on Friday with a whole new load of drugs.
So all in all was very positive.
The Anonymous Widower 