German Lawyers Prove They Have A Sense Of Humour
There has been a YouTube video entitled Für Laura, which shows a German getting his own back on his wife, by cutting everything they own in half.
It now turns out that it was all a hoax by the German Bar Association in their on-line magazine .
Who said lawyers don’t have a sense of humour?
And who said Germans don’t have a sense of hunour?
Big Belly Bins In Islington
I have a thing about street litter. My road isn’t particularly bad for rubbish, as we have a guy with a barrow, who patrols the area sweeping up anything that gets drops.
But it doesn’t deter people from piling waste around the litter bins in the road, as this picture shows.
Rubbish By A Bin In Hackney
I think a lot of what gets dumped is from people who have opted out of Hackney’s rcycling scheme, as bags often seem to be full of fast food packaging and disposable nappies. But some is definitely from commercial premises, as at times, I’ve seen people unloading rubbish by the bins from the back of pick-ups or vans.
I’ve passed the bin shown below at the Angel a couple of times, but today I had a good look.
An Islington Big Belly
It does appear to be in a better state than Hackney’s traditional bin. Perhaps those who think they will pile litter by bins, think that it’s got a camera inside.
The Big Belly web site, isn’t the easiest to navigate, but for a good explanation go to this page on the Islington web site. This is an extract.
The Big Belly units use solar power to compact litter so can hold up to eight times more litter than a normal bin, and email council staff when they need emptying.
Now under a pilot scheme 30 of the bins – which are also used in Times Square, New York – are being placed at busy recycling and litter hotspots in Islington, where street bins fill quickly.
I don’t know for sure, but I suspect as the bins are solar powered, they probably don’t need to be connected to any services. I did read on their web site, that they use SMS messaging to call for emptying.
I like the concept and suspect that it will get developed in the future to be even better and provide other services.
Suffering From Short-And-Alone Syndrome
It is amazing how many jobs around the house are difficult for someone living alone, who is short in stature.
My new bathroom, has a problem. I suspect that the electrician who installed the six spot-lights in the ceiling, bought a dodgy batch of LED bulbs, as one-by-one over the last few months, they have died. Having a bath in the dark or lit by candles may be fun for couples, but this sixty-seven-year-old doesn’t find it the tiny bit interesting at all.
So I bought some new bulbs and got my step-ladder out, but found that the builder had gummed up the holders with paint, so working with my head about twenty centimetres below the fitting and my arms at full stretch, I can’t get the dmn things out of the ceiling, as I don’t have a third hand to hold the torch.
So now, I’ll have to get someone in at great expense and time, to do a job that if I was ten centimetres taller and had a third hand handy, I’d have done myself.
I think there’s a moral in this story for everyone. If you’re going to have these ridiculous spot-lights, make sure that they are fittings like I have elsewhere in the house, that have lugs so you can easily turn them to change the bulb.
In fact, I could design a light and a special tool, that would enable the bulb to be changed by a person of very limited height standing on the floor.
What Are We Going To Do With The Palace Of Westminster?
The Palace of Westminster has an iconic status, in addition to its function as home to the two houses of the British Parliament.
It’s well-document problems, as detailed here with their solution in the Guardian are pretty serious, so something drastic needs to be done to either preserve or replace the building. The article suggests complete modernisation of the way we are governed with electronic voting, modern offices and the like. This is a typical paragraph.
Yet the buildings cannot be considered in isolation. The deterioration of the estate is an opportunity as well as a crisis. There can be no question of expensively retrofitting the palace to recreate outmoded working practices, traditions and habits. Parliament must become a workplace, instead of a Victorian club. Few modern offices do or should have bars, let alone subsidised ones. A rethink of the institutions, organisation and culture is well overdue, and it must be reflected in the renovations chosen.
I agree with the first part of it, but in some ways too much change in the way it works could destroy British democracy for ever.
I feel so strongly, that I wrote this letter to The Times.
I spent most of my working life, writing software to support the project management of large enterprises.
This has led me to the conclusion, that often what gets created is often very different in concept to the original proposals, once engineers and architects apply some innovative thinking.
I have heard so many arguments in all different directions on the rebuilding of the Palace of Westminster, that I despair anything will ever be agreed. So let’s think laterally!
If you go a couple of bridges upstream, you come to the home of MI6. On the river frontage of this building, one of several large junctions for the new Super Sewer is being dug deep into the river.
The most pressing problems in the cramped Palace are space, services and vehicle access and parking.
We could use the techniques of the Super Sewer, to create a building for these urgent needs alongside, but a respectful distance away from the Palace, deep under the river.
The two buildings would be connected by tunnels and if an island garden could be created on top of the new building, by footbridges. Vehicles would enter through tunnels at either end to and from the Embankment. Parking would be solely in the new building, thus releasing space in front of the Palace and freeing up the parking underneath for more important uses.
I believe that creating this second invisible building, would allow the current Lords and Commons to function as normal during the rebuilding. Modern lighting, would even allow the creation of world class offices and perhaps a third chamber under the Thames.
It wasn’t published, as I suspect they filed it under madmen!
But is it so unfeasible and just silly?
Look at this Google Map of the River Thames between Westminster and Lambeth Bridges.
The Palace Of Westminster And The Thames
The only construction in the river, will be the Super Sewer, that goes underneath it somewhere in the middle. This picture shows the River looking from Victoria Tower Gardens towards Westminster Bridge.
Westminster Bridge
It is a view that must be protected. On the other hand the view on the other side of the Palace, is just a jumble of security blocks and car parking.
In Front Of The Palace Of Westminster
The whole area is a World Heritage Site and it is not treated with the respect it deserves. In fact, it is a complete disgrace.
This Google Map shows the area of the World Heritage Site.
Westminster World Heritage Site
It needs to be improved by banning all traffic except bicycles and buses from the whole area around Parliament Square, the Palace of Westminster and Westminster Abbey.
Extending my plan to do this would put an immersed tunnel in the river from say Whitehall Gardens opposite the London Eye to Lambeth Bridge.
Whitehall Gardens To Lambeth Bridge
It would run through or alongside the new building under the river, that I proposed in the letter to The Times.
Note that there is another building in London, that is built deep down into the water connected to everywhere else by tunnels. It is the massive Lord Foster-designed Canary Wharf station for Crossrail.
The construction of the new building and the tunnels, should be well within the compass of those that designed and built the station. Incidentally that station was built in six years at a cost of five hundred million pounds., without interfering with the daily life, going on all around. You could even bring in construction materials and take out the large amount of spoil on the river.
Once the building, with its car parks and tunnels is complete and connected to the Palace of Westminster, you could start to refurbish the historic palace.
I think that it is totally feasible,
I would also incorporate the following into the design.
1. Pedestrianise as much of the area as possible, whilst allowing buses and cyclists.
2. Build a modern semi-circular third chamber in the new building, to act appropriately as the Commons or Lords during refurbishment. And why not build it big enough for joint sessions of both houses with all the modern features that most parliaments around the world possess?
3. Put all services, car parking and vehicle access into the new building.
4. The new building would of course contain the extra much needed offices.
5. Perhaps more radically, the top of the building could be covered by a floating island, which could be a viewing garden for the Palace, with access by walkways from Westminster Bridge and Victoria Tower Gardens. It can’t be fixed, as the river is tidal.
I think if we think radically, architects and engineers can come up with a scheme that is workable and turns the Palace into a modern Parliament without any loss of history, and the area into a World Heritage Site worthy of the name.
It won’t happen and in thirty or forty years time, they’ll be another crisis concerning the state of the Palace of Westminster.
The Tragedy In Tunisia
For the second time in my life terrorism has got personal with my memories.
Two weeks after I stayed in the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai, it was attacked.
It must be nearly twenty years ago, that C and myself, stayed in Sousse and had a wonderful holiday.
But, it is nothing to all of those directly affected, whose lives will be changed forever by the pointless actions of the terrorists.
My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered loss!
When will it all end?
I sometimes think, that the time has come to send in the troops to cleanse the world of the scourge that is Islamic State, Boko Harum and all of the others, who just like killing people and destroying things and the lives of others for fun!
These groups are no more Muslim than I am!
But we would reap the whirlwind, as things would just get worse!
You Know It’s Glastonbury Time!
Last night on the Overground, an attractive young lady was humping a large rucksack, with a pair of enormous brand-new rubber boots tied to the bottom.
I said “It’s obvious that you’re going to Glastonbury!”
She said “Yes!” And smiled!
I wonder how the sales of boots leap at this time of the year. And do any of them ever get worn again?
Lunch With A Swing In Spitalfields
Sometimes on a day when the weather is good, I go for lunch in Leon’s in Spitalfields.
Today there was a free bonus cabaret with every meal! And the brave could dance! Which I’ve never been able to do!
The girls are twins and go by the name of Twin Swing. They probably fall into the “Twice the fun, but double the trouble” category. All my experience with children growing up leads me to the opinion that boys are more difficult, but I’ve met a couple of sets of very naughty girl twins. Boy twins on the other hand seem to behave well, except perhaps for Ronnie and Reggie.
They are appearing at the Waldorf Hotel on the 19th of July as entertainment for the Traditional Afternoon Tea. It’s all reported here in this article in the East Grinstead Courier. The report contains this immortal line.
Lingfield twins Jessica and Emily Evans, both 24
It would be rather unusual for twins to have different ages.
Is A Mobile Phone A Dog And Bone With Legs?
My father, who was not really a real Cockney, as you couldn’t quite hear Bow Bells from where he was born, was a regular user of rhyming slang.
I was writing a message to someone and suggested we text each other.
I then realised that I’d never heard rhyming slang for mobile phone, which led me to the title of this post.
This page supports the use of Obi Wan Kenobi.
Where Are The 33cL Water Bottles?
In the UK, I generally carry a small bottle of water. Usually, it’s a 33cL Evian or if I’ve been on a train a 33cL Harrogate.
As the pictures show, these bottles are smaller than the 50cL ones that you have to use on the Continent. On my recent trip, I never managed to find a smaller bottle.
I prefer the smaller bottles, as there is less to carry. And they fit my jacket pocket!
I would have thought that there might be an economic advantage for both consumers and retailers in the smaller bottle. Not knowing the costs of production, I can’t do a full calculation.
Amber Rudd Puts Onshore Wind Out Of Its Misery
I don’t like onshore wind farms so I was pleased to see this announcement by Amber Rudd on the BBC, which is titled Earlier end to subsidies for new UK onshore wind farms.
Onshore wind blights the countryside and you have to use a lot of subsidy to make a development viable.
But, I mainly don’t like the concept of wind power, because it is too mechanical, as opposed to solar, where you put up a panel and its control system and you get electricity.
Solar’s other big advantage is just emerging and that is the ability to link it to an intelligent battery such as the Tesla Powerwall to provide an independent power system for a building or something remote that needs good clean energy.
In a few years time, I predict that all new houses will have solar panels on the roof and the next generation of storage battery in the garage. Coupled with increases in insulation quality, I also think, we’ll see the likes of Barratt advertising houses with no external gas and only a stand-by electricity connection, for use on the dullest days.
The big energy companies won’t like it! But surely this is the sign of a good idea?
My energy usage isn’t high, but when the solar/battery powerplant drops in price sufficiently, I’ll fit one!
The Anonymous Widower 