The Indian Sense of Humour
I’ve worked with quite a few people of Indian origin over the years and have always found that they have quite a sophisticated sense of humour. Take this tweet on Cricinfo.
“Sehwag’s contribution to the 3rd test remains India’s contribution to the arithmetic world – ZERO,” says Saurabh.
It isn’t the sort of thing, we’d say about out cricketers, when they are losing.
My Indian doctor’s comment this morning was that someone has to lose.
Kelvin MacKenzie’s Voicemail
According to this article in the Telegraph, this is the welcoming message on Kelvie MacKenzie’s voicemail.
I am not here right now, but leave a message and Rebekah will get back to you
I like it.
Waiting For Beckett
For those who love the work of Samuel Beckett, this news must be very heartwarming.
Cucumber Humour
Cucumbers have always been a source of humour for British comedians.
A satire web-site called The Spoof has two pages of note.
Cucumber World Domination To Be Arrested By Cull
101 Reasons Why Women Prefer Cucumbers
This one will run and run.
Do Tinned Artichokes Make You Rich?
I’ve just looked up the richest women in the UK.
I was once in Waitrose in Newmarket and one of the top ten was buying lots of tinned artichokes.
Is there a connection?
Where is Shergar?
I just heard this on Radio 5.
Now that we’ve found Osama Bin Laden, by a Pakistani military base, should we look for Shergar in Aldershot?
Andrew Marr Comes Clean
Having watched Have I Got News For You and seen what Ian Hislop has said since Andrew Marr has come clean over the superinjunction, I think that he made his statement just in time. I think if Marr hadn’t broke his silence, it would have been all over the place within a week.
This always happens in the end, as someone makes a mistake or perhaps sadly one of the parties dies and then it gets published.
These privacy superinjunctions may have their place in some areas, like the protection of children But in many places they are just being used by indivduals and companies to hide wrong doing. Or should I say delay publication, as inevitably that’s what happens.
It would appear now that the tabloids are looking for the next person to come clean.
There is also a serious side to all this. Read this article in the Daily Mail. One person, who has found a serious health problem with paint, has even been prohibited from talking to his MP. It’s getting to be all very Kafka!
The Mail is also getting its claws into Fred the Shred in this article. At one time the injunction said that we couldn’t refer to him as a banker.
I’ve just typed his real name coupled with the w-word into Google. You get a lot of very funny articles.
Superinjunctions have now created this new game of Googling the Internet to find out the truth. You usually can! The google Toolbar is particularly useful, as it knows the common searches. Let’s say I’m a sportsman, who say has been associated with a Z-list celebrity, but I’ve taken out a super injunction to stop my wife finding out and divorcing me, thus relieving me of a lot of my money and half my salary, which would mean I’m unattractive to bimbos. If I continually type my name and that of the celebrity into Google, I can check that no stories are appearing. But all I’m doing is making it easier for people to find the association.
You can run, but you can’t hide.
Network Rail’s Pigeon Eradicator
This is not what you think it is on the platforms at London Paddington!
Network Rail's Pigeon Eradicator
It has shades of Hancock in The Radio Ham, where he was annoyed with pigeons on his aerials, so he gave them 1,000 volts and a very cheap thrill.
You may think it is to stop the pigeons sitting on the video cameras, but it is a fiendish device to kill them, by giving them a large electric shock. Note how one camera is angled so it can see the pigeons on the spikes. This allowed the charge to be accurately timed. The pigeons are then recycled in the meat pies on the trains from London.
Michael Jackson at Fulham
The statue of Michael Jackson unveiled yesterday could prove to be one of the most embarrassing things ever done at a British football ground.
I doubt it will last long!
But Fulham supporters, who are a distinctly amiable bunch will put up with it and probably share a joke or two about it. After all there are sites like this one, full of Michael Jackson jokes, so they will have plenty of material.
A Very Old Scottish Joke
This came from Popbitch.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning.
Can you believe that, 2:30am?
Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
The Anonymous Widower 