Liverpudlian Humour
They used to say you don’t have to have a sense of humour to live in Liverpool, but it helps.
A Creche For Husbands
Strangely, the pub didn’t seem to be that busy. But then it was the middle of the afternoon. Or could it be that the average Liverpudlian felt that as they’d spelt crèche wrong, the pub wasn’t very cultured?
Rules For Athletes At The Games
There used to be a whole set of rules for visitors to London, mainly made up by Gerard Hoffnung. The only one I can remember is the one, that said that all brothels had a blue light outside of them.
Some of his rules and those who have parodied him are very appropriate for the Olympics.
- Have you tried the famous echo in the reading room of the British Museum?
- Winston Churchill’s favourite branch of Starbucks was the one in New Oxford Street, because he considered it to have the cleanest toilets
- All buses are actually like taxis, and the driver is legally obliged to take you wherever you demand. All you have to do is climb on and declare where you wish to be taken in a loud voice.
- It is important to shake hands with everyone in your train compartment.
If you type Gerard Hofnung into Google, lots of more inappropriate suggestions will be found.
I did find one for hurdlers and high jumpers, that it was OK to jump the barriers at Underground stations. On the other hand, after what happened to Jean Charles de Menezes, I wouldn’t try it.
England Against Ukraine at Cricket
Radio 5 has announced this morning that an English touring cricket club is in Ukraine. Apparently there are eight cricket clubs in Kiev.
I can’t help being reminded of the very funny Michael Bentine sketch, where he was taking cricket to the natives, in some unnamed country. The last line as he held up a box, was.
And this is 27s. and 6d.
Classic humour from the only Peruvian born in Watford.
I Am A Man Who Is Approaching His Terminus
Not me, I hasten to add!
But the very brave Clive James has said this about himself, as he battles against cancer.
He is obviously determined to go with dignity and humour.
Is there any other way? Not in my book there isn’t!
A Thought of Angel on Google
This was the Thought of Angel yesterday.
Thought of Angel – Google
No-one was seeming to mind, that it was a bit sexist. Or are wives and their mothers still fair game.
The Perils of Alcohol
The Old Queen’s Head in the Essex Road, often chalks up a humorous message.
Notice Outside The Old Queen’s Head
This was yesterday’s philosophy.
A Bit of Humour Helps the Journey
According to this story, Chiltern Trains have employed Tony Robinson of Baldrick fame to coach their staff to lighten up announcements.
About a year ago, I was travelling on the District line and the driver was very chatty with information. He was obviously enjoying himself and so were his passengers.
Let’s hope it all works for Chiltern Railways!
RBS, Donald Trump and the Dreaded Wind Farms
The more I read about Donald Trump and the wind farms, I just think how funny it would be if either the golf course or the wind farms had been all or part funded by the Royal Bank of UK Taxpayers.
After all something Sir Fred did is going to jump up and bite us, so when it does, it might be something with a good laugh in it.
Kazahkstan Tourism is on the Increase
Apparently the number of tourists going to Kazahkstan is on the increase according to this article on the BBC.
But Foreign Minister Yerzhan Kazykhanov told politicians on Monday, 23 April: “With the release of this film, the number of visas issued by Kazakhstan grew tenfold.
“I am grateful to ‘Borat’ for helping attract tourists to Kazakhstan.”
It probably shows that we don’t use humour enough to promote things.
On the other hand, some of the travel programs made by comedians like Billy Connolly, Mike Palin and Gryff Rhys-Jones have probably done a log to promote some of the more unusual places in both the UK and the wider world.
Giles Coren In Today’s Times
I always read Giles Coren, as I find him funny and today in his piece in the Times he’s excelled himself on stockpiling. This is part of his piece on Gregg’s, which as I’m a coeliac, I find even funnier for some reason.
On a personal note — I have not eaten a Greggs pie in 15 years, and that was too recent. Everything Greggs sells is as grey, flabby and nutritionally otiose as a braised portion of George Galloway’s arse. The whole point of having a job and a few quid is so that you don’t have to eat at Greggs. It makes me sick to see politicians pretending they eat there. Greggs is survival rations for poor people and the homeless. Greggs is a major factor in working-class obesity. Twenty per cent VAT on its hot pies is not enough. It should be taxed to death for the sake of the NHS, which ploughs £5 billion a year into obesity-related illness.
I accept that as long as Greggs thrives, ignorant fat people will eat there three times a day, but it is cruel to put them in the spotlight as Labour has done. Some destitute people live on dog food, but do you want to see the Labour front bench kneeling over a bowl marked “Fido”, chowing on Pedigree Chum? Because they’d do it, you know. They’d do it like a shot.
I suppose it’s just the thought of eating a pie, that makes me want to get ready for the reaction my body would take.
If you haven’t bought your Saturday paper, it looks like Giles piece is well worth the cover price.
The Anonymous Widower 